Greetings to the new subscribers this week; I’m glad you’re here!
I’ve written a lot about change in this newsletter, probably because it’s a common theme in everyone’s life, including my own.
As Heraclitus said:
Change is the only constant in life.
It’s the one thing you can always count on.
Negative Changes
Negative changes are the hardest because there doesn’t appear to be a silver lining to anything that causes anxiety and stress.
This is particularly true for the “negative Nellies” among us. Those are the people who succumb to automatic negative thinking.
This occurs when involuntary conscious or subconscious thoughts arise in response to daily events. Often self-defeating and irrational, they are indicative of the negative self-image someone has of themselves (i.e., "I can’t do this, it will never work," etc.).
Long ago, I was one of those people who always expected the worst while hoping for the best. Thankfully, I turned my life around and learned to break those destructive thought patterns.
Cognitive reframing and restructuring are strategies that help people block negative thoughts and replace them with more realistic and hopeful ones. This can be achieved by:
Noticing cognitive distortions - Do you lean towards catastrophic and “all or nothing” thinking?
Consider the facts - Does the actual evidence dispute your negative thoughts?
Self-compassion - Do you show yourself kindness through compassionate self-talk?
Positive Changes
Even positive change is stress-inducing.
My friend’s daughter was laid off for over a year, living on unemployment as she searched for another position within her field. Things became especially worrisome when those benefits ran out, and she had to rely on her savings to pay the bills.
Fortunately, a great opportunity (and salary) came along, and she started her new job last month. But along with excitement came the anxiety of the unknown: would she measure up for the new employer? Would she fit in with her colleagues and company culture?
Whether big or small, we get comfortable in our routines, and modifying them means stepping outside our comfort zone and adapting to a new reality.
Change is often difficult due to a combination of factors:
Our innate preference for the familiar.
The effort required to adapt.
The potential for loss or discomfort associated with new situations.
These factors can trigger fear, anxiety, and resistance, making it challenging to embrace or navigate change.
Dealing With Changes
There are ways to improve your coping skills when it comes to adapting to change:
Be prepared - Reminding ourselves that change is inevitable helps us to be more mentally prepared when it happens. If you’re aware of upcoming transitions, take proactive steps to plan for them.
Automatic negative thinking - If this undermines your ability to focus on the positives, cognitive reframing will help shift your mindset to more favorable outcomes.
Preserve routines - During periods of change, maintaining routines helps promote a sense of normalcy and minimizes stress.
Seek support - Family and friends can provide help and encouragement; don’t be afraid to ask.
Self-care - Attending to your basic needs, such as getting enough sleep and exercise, strengthens both your physical and mental well-being. Of course, self-care is essential at all times!
Whether expected or unexpected, change is gonna come. They vary in the scope of their impact on our lives.
Some of those changes we intentionally seek: a new job, a divorce, or a shift in mindset.
Others come without warning: the loss of a job, a loved one, or an unexpected opportunity for growth.
There will be both positive and negative ones. Some will be easier to navigate than others. While we can’t control all the changes, we can acknowledge that they are a fact of life and be as prepared as possible.
This means planning for scenarios that we know will ultimately come and making sure we’re “right with the world” for the ones we never see coming.
YOUR THOUGHTS?
Do you feel that adapting to change becomes easier or harder as we age?
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I'm no good with change. I get quite anxious and just want things to remain the same ad infinitum. But Change is a part of life and must be dealt with - I think the Buddhists phrase it best when they say avoid attachment.