Lollygagging
Is It a Waste of Time or Much Needed Self Care?
lollygag
(verb)
informal
: to fool around and waste time: dawdle
Life is hard at times, especially the times we’re living in.
Not only do we have our personal problems to deal with, but also those of our collective world. Rising authoritarianism, climate change, and wars and military conflicts are just a few from a long list of many.
My grandma used to say, “What’s this world coming to?”
I share her sentiment.
Relaxation and a sense of peace seem elusive, mainly when our alleged worth depends on how many waking hours we spend frantically trying to “have it all.”
It’s easy to get caught up in the hectic pace of a culture that practically celebrates burnout. We’re made to feel suspicious of downtime, preferring to fill every minute with some chore or activity (lest we appear unproductive.)
Downtime is often seen as being lazy.
When I was raising a family and working, it was non-stop action. From the time I got up to a screeching alarm clock until crawling back into bed some 15 hours later, my productivity soared!
However, instead of feeling wonderfully accomplished, I felt tired and stressed most of the time.
I slept like the dead, believing (at the time) that it was an inherited trait or some talent I had acquired.
I recently realized it was because I was exhausted most of the time.
While I’d love to be 40 again, I don’t want that overloaded schedule and a return to lots of stress. No, thank you.
Growing older has disadvantages because this is when everything begins to catch up. Late-night partying, junk food, and UV radiation (coupled with layers of baby oil) take their toll. We spend more time in doctor’s offices and waiting in line at the pharmacy than ever.
But there’s an upshot to aging, especially retirement. You’re reaching that point in life when you can focus on yourself more than ever before. Time may be running short, but it was always doing that; we were just too busy to notice!
Without a job or children to occupy our days, we can fill them with the things we previously wanted to do but never had time for.
And one of my favorites is lollygagging.
Originating in the mid-19th century, this American English word literally means to waste time (something unheard of in our younger years.)
I love lollygagging and have developed quite a talent for it.
Don’t get me wrong—I stay productive. I babysit twice weekly, volunteer with animal rescue, write, and participate in political activism. All this is in addition to my position as House Manager (and we all know what that involves.) 😉
Of course, it takes practice to let go of the ingrained patterns of always having to be doing something.
After I retired, it took me a long time to feel “okay” with doing non-essential activities, such as flipping through a magazine, scrolling on the Internet, sitting on the patio with a cup of tea, watching the birds, etc.
I couldn’t get comfortable and constantly checked the time (as if I were back on my ten-minute afternoon break). I felt an underlying sense of guilt because, unlike in my paid employment, I couldn’t clock out.
Something else is always waiting for our attention: a closet that needs to be cleaned out, paperwork that should be sorted and organized, weeds to be pulled…you get the idea. Doing nothing seemed…wrong.
The Value of Wasting Time
It took some getting used to, but I eventually learned that self-care WAS NOT wasting time.
Routines that lower stress and increase energy through brief periods of physical rest are quite healthy!
My mornings are reserved for this critical activity, although lollygagging can be done anytime. I used to hit the ground running, but now I prefer to ease into the day.
Gone are the pressures of driving kids to school, clocking in at work for eight hours, picking kids up, and coming home to make dinner, clean up, do laundry, help with homework, etc.
My daughter commented recently how she remembers finding my mug of coffee (half full) in the microwave every morning. That’s because I had to keep reheating it between the many chores that needed to be finished before we left the house. And I never got to finish the whole cup.
While my body keeps reminding me that time is passing, lollygagging makes up for it. I truly enjoy that morning cup of joe and seldom need to reheat it.
Whenever I’m babysitting or running errands that require setting the alarm clock, I always allow myself an extra hour to relax before I begin the day.
This extra time has become crucial to my routine, helping to clear my mind and prepare me for the tasks ahead.
I realize that retirement makes lollygagging easier. It’s basically a time management issue. If I had gotten up a bit earlier in my working days, I could have benefitted from a more leisurely start to the morning and a calmer day overall.
And this would have allowed me to drink the WHOLE (enjoyable) cup of coffee before heading out the door!
What’s your favorite form of lollygagging?
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Love this! I do try and slow down some days and just allow duvet days where I read in bed all day or a combo of that and scrolling and cuddling with the cat. Sometimes my brain is just exhausted from all the productivity I try and squeeze in in the week so it is important to relax. 🫶🏻 Housework and life admin is never ending!
My favourite form of lollygagging is drinking a few cups of espresso in the morning while leisurely reading what has come into my inbox or on my social media feeds. Years ago I used to really enjoy reading a paper newspaper, but those days have sadly faded, as papers are no longer what they used to be. I think the thing that is most different in my 60s, something you also pointed out in the post, is the reduction of stress. I wish I would have focused more on stress reduction when I was younger, even with the "busyness" of raising a family. As parents, my wife and I struggled getting on the same page.