Regrets serve a valuable purpose but certainly have a "Best By" date. And I'd guess that the vast majority of us must continually learn that lesson over and over again. We're emotional animals, and that's our challenge.
Regrets, I've had a few... But it's best not to dwell.
" What’s past is past, nothing can change that. But the future can be different if we choose to make it so. We have to cultivate a vision of a happier, more peaceful future and make the effort now to bring it about.. " (Dalai Lama)
It's taken me 73 years to learn that lesson and I'm still pretty ordinary at it.
It seems only two things truly separated us in the grand scheme of life: location and the fact that I didn’t get married until much later. From a young age, I knew with absolute certainty that I didn’t want kids—well, except for a two-week stretch when I briefly considered it. But that thought vanished as quickly as I woke up from a drug-induced stupor.
Only recently have I stopped dwelling on my past and the mistakes I made. I can’t undo them. Worse yet, at 67, any mistakes I make now could either cost me my life or put me in a place where I’d wish they had. No kidding.
Right now, I’m reading a book about finding meaning in the second half of life. It’s really an advanced psyche book I have no business reading, but I couldn’t resist. So much of what happened—so many of the choices I made—came from a lack of understanding and reasoning. One example: I used to see everything in black and white. There was no gray area in my thinking at all.
Like you, I once had a big opportunity to explore the world. Instead, I stayed in the U.S., working menial jobs so I could run around, dance, and party all night. I never allowed myself to think about "what if"—and I never will. It’s too painful. There were many decisions like that, and if I start going down that road, I’ll fall into a black hole.
So, I focus on today. I will say this book is giving me permission to stop beating myself up—thank goodness. I believe it was God-sent. I found it in a used bookstore a couple of weeks ago. The guy had just put it out on display, and it called to me.
Anyway, good read, but I'm not digging too deep and never allowing myself to say "what if," not in this lifetime.
Thank you, Prue.
Regrets serve a valuable purpose but certainly have a "Best By" date. And I'd guess that the vast majority of us must continually learn that lesson over and over again. We're emotional animals, and that's our challenge.
Excellent post.
Regrets, I've had a few... But it's best not to dwell.
" What’s past is past, nothing can change that. But the future can be different if we choose to make it so. We have to cultivate a vision of a happier, more peaceful future and make the effort now to bring it about.. " (Dalai Lama)
It's taken me 73 years to learn that lesson and I'm still pretty ordinary at it.
It seems only two things truly separated us in the grand scheme of life: location and the fact that I didn’t get married until much later. From a young age, I knew with absolute certainty that I didn’t want kids—well, except for a two-week stretch when I briefly considered it. But that thought vanished as quickly as I woke up from a drug-induced stupor.
Only recently have I stopped dwelling on my past and the mistakes I made. I can’t undo them. Worse yet, at 67, any mistakes I make now could either cost me my life or put me in a place where I’d wish they had. No kidding.
Right now, I’m reading a book about finding meaning in the second half of life. It’s really an advanced psyche book I have no business reading, but I couldn’t resist. So much of what happened—so many of the choices I made—came from a lack of understanding and reasoning. One example: I used to see everything in black and white. There was no gray area in my thinking at all.
Like you, I once had a big opportunity to explore the world. Instead, I stayed in the U.S., working menial jobs so I could run around, dance, and party all night. I never allowed myself to think about "what if"—and I never will. It’s too painful. There were many decisions like that, and if I start going down that road, I’ll fall into a black hole.
So, I focus on today. I will say this book is giving me permission to stop beating myself up—thank goodness. I believe it was God-sent. I found it in a used bookstore a couple of weeks ago. The guy had just put it out on display, and it called to me.
Anyway, good read, but I'm not digging too deep and never allowing myself to say "what if," not in this lifetime.
Thank you...Yes, I've learned so much about myself through serious self-reflection. It's almost like putting a puzzle together!
Thank you! As you and I both know, taking time to reflect sharpens the picture.
What a brilliant post. Such amazing reflection. 🤩🫶🏻
Great post. The importance of self-reflection can never be overstated. Equally important is the need to move forward afterwards.