Unexpected Connections
Sometimes They're the Most Memorable
The language of friendship is not words but meanings. — Henry David Thoreau
I enjoyed spending the past two weeks with family in the Outerbanks of North Carolina. My brother and sister-in-law rented a home on the Pamlico Sound, and my entire family - sister, children, and grandchildren - were in attendance! If you’ve ever tried to get everyone together in one place at one time, you know how difficult it can be.
The Outer Banks are barrier islands off the U.S. state of North Carolina coast, separating the Atlantic Ocean from the mainland. Their open-sea beaches, state parks, and shipwreck diving sites make them a popular holiday destination. Roanoke Island was the site of England’s first settlement in the New World, an endeavor sponsored by Sir Walter Raleigh. (Google)
Our rental was in Buxton on the lower half of the islands, which offers a remote, peaceful experience compared to the more crowded and developed northern half.
We had a great time, and the youngest generation of cousins finally got to know each other better (they live approximately 1,000 miles apart.) It was the first time that my siblings and I could spend more than a day together, and we reminisced about our parents and the shared vacations of our youth. Watching my own children appreciate each other’s company as adults also made me happy.
These types of connections are typical of families, but what about those that happen unexpectedly with strangers? We all experience them throughout our lives. Occasionally they turn into long-term relationships, but often they’re short-lived and eventually become distant memories.
Like Chip…my new best friend (pictured above.) While not knowing his gender, I automatically assigned the male persuasion and gave him a moniker based on what brought us together: tortilla chips. They were unsalted, and I felt a small amount wouldn’t hurt him.
He approached me on the first morning of our vacation. I was enjoying a cup of coffee with my sister on the deck. Our rental home had three levels, and the top one gave the best views of the water and surrounding area.
A beautiful red-winged blackbird flew onto the deck railing directly opposite my chair as we chatted. Only five feet away, he opened our first ‘conversation’ with a melodic voice:
Seemingly unafraid of humans, I suspected he had been welcomed before by past visitors and promptly searched for a treat. The tortilla chips were a hit, so I named him accordingly. He'd stop by whenever we were on the deck, trading his lovely song for a few morsels.
Our friendship grew over the two weeks, and I felt sad on departure day, knowing that I’d never see him again. I’ve developed a great affinity for animals, which didn’t exist in my youth. It has come about as I age with my growing appreciation for the natural world.
I told Chip that I was grateful for our time together and sorry I wouldn’t see him anymore. I told him he was beautiful and how much I appreciated his song and his company. I wished him well and hoped that he would live a good life in the marsh.
He looked me in the eye as I spoke, which I later learned is unusual for birds. While they don’t like eye contact (as it reminds them of predators), they are grateful for our kindness.1
Occasionally, we discover a person, place, or thing that, despite being temporary, impacts us in a special way.
My daughter and I had a similar experience back in May when she took us on a tropical holiday. We discovered a homeless tuxedo kitty who was extremely long and thin (I swear his paternity was from a dachshund.) I named him Slim. His quiet meows from the tall grass implored us for help, and we fed him leftovers from our meals. We saw a few other cats living on a wooded hillside beside the parking lot.
The abundance of food for the guests of the resort stood in stark contrast to these hungry creatures who stayed hidden and begged for some morsels. Our regret was not being able to bring them all home with us.
Another unexpected connection occurred on a trip with my cousins to Philadelphia the summer after fifth grade. We stayed with relatives and planned to see the Liberty Bell, Betsy Ross’ house, and other tourist attractions. Unbeknownst to me was the handsome, curly-haired neighbor boy who became the main attraction. He was one grade ahead of me, and we shared magical evenings on the front porch, talking about school and life in the big city versus the small town where I lived. It was heartbreaking to say goodbye, knowing I’d probably never see him again (which I didn’t.) He gifted me with my first kiss, and that single moment, some fifty years ago, was burned in my memory. Yes, it’s faded, but it’s there.
We tend to think that the most memorable connections are long-lasting, and oftentimes they are. But sometimes they’re not. Occasionally, we discover a person, place, or thing that, despite being temporary, impacts us in a special way.
Being open to these potential experiences is important in finding them. Who knows how many missed opportunities for joy we’ve had because we were in a hurry, didn’t look twice, or not at all?
Maybe we need to slow down and consider all the potential possibilities. You never know if that ‘ship that passed in the night’ might’ve changed the course of your life. Or, maybe upon closer inspection, something that appeared random might turn out to be one of your fondest memories!
WHAT DO YOU THINK?
Did you ever have a temporary connection that left a permanent impression?
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Chip is a cutie! We don't have red-winged blackbirds over here - they look gorgeous. My favourite birds in my garden are the blackbirds (they're black all over) - they're such characters. Whenever we're away, which is often, I say hello to every blackbird I see, regarding them as if they ARE one of our home crowd, and say 'oh, you've come too, have you?' or 'you're a long way from home'! It's a lovely connection.