Why SPAM is Better in a Can (As Opposed To My Email)

Photo by Hannes Johnson on Unsplash

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I’ve never eaten SPAM and don’t plan on doing so anytime soon.

I guess, in all fairness, I should sample it before passing judgment. There’s just something grotesque about meat in a can (IMHO), although I do eat tuna fish, which also comes in a can.

I’m not sure why my brain perceives them differently. Maybe it’s the ingredients. With tuna, it’s either in water or oil. As kids, we called SPAM mystery meat because the name sounded like an attempt to hide something. But after a quick Google search, the mystery was solved. The six ingredients in SPAM are:

• Pork with Ham

• Salt

• Water

• Potatoe Starch

• Sugar

• Sodium Nitrate

Sodium Nitrate is a type of salt and a common preservative used in cured meats. In small amounts, it’s safe. But you don’t want to overdo it, according to this Healthline article.

I must admit that after looking through the website, my opinion has changed (somewhat). Did you know they now make 13 varieties and that there’s a SPAM Museum in Austin, Minnesota? A Virtual Tour is available by appointment if you can’t make the trip. And wait until you see the Gift Shop! It’s loaded with the usual swag, all branded with the famous SPAM logo and artwork.

But enough about the meat…

The spam I hate the most is that which shows up regularly in my email. How does this garbage find me?

Yes, I know that clicking on a product often causes that product to stalk us relentlessly throughout our Internet travels, popping up as banner ads and so forth. But some of the junk I get is mystifying:

1. Blood Sugar Support - (I’m not diabetic…yet)

2. Hair Regrowth - (Mine is thick enough for two people)

3. Tinnitus Remedy - (They confused me with my brother)

4. Leaky Butt - (Only applies after colonoscopy prep every five years, thank you very much)

5. Memory Fix - (This one I can use)

6. New Sleeping Pill - (Yeah, this one, too)

7. Weight Loss Secret - (Ditto, again)

8. Deadly Fungus - (Excuse me?)

9. Bone on Bone - (Nope)

10. Liver Detox - (I don’t drink THAT much)

Out of these ten unsolicited emails, only three are something I might have inquired about in a Google search. The weight loss one, for sure, but I don’t remember requesting the memory fix and sleeping pill emails. And yet they found me, along with a bunch of other garbage!

Credit: Giphy.com

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I must admit that shopping in a brick-and-mortar store was never a favorite pastime. The only regular shopping I do in person is at the grocery store because eating is a prerequisite to living. Otherwise, you wouldn’t find me there either.

Once the pandemic hit, I started online ordering and LOVED IT. I still do a portion of my list that way, but it’s mostly pantry items. I prefer to pick out my own meat and produce.

I have a love/hate relationship with Amazon. I love the convenience but hate how the employees are treated. There are reports of unsafe working conditions and attempts at undermining jobs and wages. Jeff Bezos doesn’t pay his fair share in taxes, so I don’t see why those doing the actual work aren’t treated better.

It makes me miss the old days. You could browse through a catalog without someone peeking over your shoulder and taking notes. It’s creepy to think that everything we click on, look at, look up, consider buying, etc., is being watched by hackers, spammers, and even marketers!

There’s a variety of ways these nefarious people spy on us:

• Email Retargeting

• Email Harvesting

• Dictionary Attack

• Brute Force Attack

• CC vs. BCC Email

• Selling & Leaking

• Phishing

• Giveaways & Sweepstakes

• Social Media

• Data Breach

I was familiar with a few but learned some new ones. Here’s an article for further details regarding these unsavory methods spammers use to get your emails.

During my research, I also learned that you should NEVER unsubscribe from spam emails.

Wait, what?

So, why is there an Unsubscribe button at the bottom of these unwanted emails?

Good question.

Apparently, you’re only supposed to unsubscribe from emails you signed up for or with which you have a legitimate business relationship. Spam should be marked as such, and unsubscribing from spam will result in MORE unsolicited emails.

Crazy, right?

This article explains why.

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Hopefully, with this new knowledge, I’ll be able to ward off the sketchy characters who want to bury me in their Internet garbage. I can find plenty on my own, thanks!

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• Thanks for your company this week.

• Please share the post if you know someone who can benefit from the information provided in the links. I wish I had known before I Unsubscribed to a bunch of unsolicited emails that it would cause even more to land in my Inbox!

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