Aug 23, 2023·edited Aug 23, 2023Liked by Ms. Writer
I've been married for almost three years. We are celebrating our anniversary in September. It is my first, his third.
He warned me marriage wasn't easy. I haven't found that to be true. Yet. But there are signs.
For 62 years I was able to make (important life-changing) decisions inside relationships without first consulting with the other half. (If I did so, it was because I was co-dependent, another story.) I chose jobs, places to live, how and what to eat, exercise and to put first what was (highest) and best for me. This may have been because my relationship picker was broken and intuition "usually" demanded I not always listen to those closest to me.
For me it's a challenge to put our marriage first, before "my" wants. Needs haven't been an issue. I'm learning and committed. I found true love so late in life that it's important I keep our relationship healthy, while at the same time learning how to be one and still carry on as a couple. I'm fairly certain even if I'd married young I wouldn't have been mature enough to do this and stay committed. Great post, loved it!
My husband and I married aged 39 and 45, and neither of us had been married before. We were in a relationship for eight years before we became engaged, and married the following year.
My parents recently celebrated their golden wedding anniversary two years late (thanks to Covid). They - and their marriage - are incredible.
My husband and I both came from families with looong and happy marriages. We didn't live together, we dated for 6 months and knew then that we would probably marry. We married at the 12 month mark.
We had the same outlooks on reality, on expectations for the future, neither of us were religious, we communicated daily and were fortunate to be articulate in the communication. We are now coming to our 48th year and whilst it would be naive to say we haven't had the odd argument (my husband is placid and forgiving and I was a woman with raging menstrual and menopausal hormones - he saw me through it all and was my rock. -Still is.)
I believe we remain very fortunate but I also believe that our parents deep respect and love for each other was strong role-modelling for life.
I've been married for almost three years. We are celebrating our anniversary in September. It is my first, his third.
He warned me marriage wasn't easy. I haven't found that to be true. Yet. But there are signs.
For 62 years I was able to make (important life-changing) decisions inside relationships without first consulting with the other half. (If I did so, it was because I was co-dependent, another story.) I chose jobs, places to live, how and what to eat, exercise and to put first what was (highest) and best for me. This may have been because my relationship picker was broken and intuition "usually" demanded I not always listen to those closest to me.
For me it's a challenge to put our marriage first, before "my" wants. Needs haven't been an issue. I'm learning and committed. I found true love so late in life that it's important I keep our relationship healthy, while at the same time learning how to be one and still carry on as a couple. I'm fairly certain even if I'd married young I wouldn't have been mature enough to do this and stay committed. Great post, loved it!
So lovely - this post has really made me think.
My husband and I married aged 39 and 45, and neither of us had been married before. We were in a relationship for eight years before we became engaged, and married the following year.
My parents recently celebrated their golden wedding anniversary two years late (thanks to Covid). They - and their marriage - are incredible.
Interesting.
I think it also depends on role models.
My husband and I both came from families with looong and happy marriages. We didn't live together, we dated for 6 months and knew then that we would probably marry. We married at the 12 month mark.
We had the same outlooks on reality, on expectations for the future, neither of us were religious, we communicated daily and were fortunate to be articulate in the communication. We are now coming to our 48th year and whilst it would be naive to say we haven't had the odd argument (my husband is placid and forgiving and I was a woman with raging menstrual and menopausal hormones - he saw me through it all and was my rock. -Still is.)
I believe we remain very fortunate but I also believe that our parents deep respect and love for each other was strong role-modelling for life.