It’s certainly natural and satisfying to be helpful and kind to others. However, codependent pleasing emanates from low self-esteem — more to get than give. – Darlene Lancer
It's clear, concise and filled in big gaps that I had.
And as an aside - I'm adopting the 'you rest, you rust' adage. That was my mum to a 'T' and I think I've inherited more than half of her genes. (Feel rusty today tho', post-Covid 5 and flu shots!!!)
What came to mind as I read your excellent discussion is how "help" and "enable" applies to older adults. Too often, folks enable their older loved ones - doing for them what they could do for themselves - rather than helping them when needed. The end product can be disempowerment.
When my husband was still home I challenged him - he had chores, we made puzzles, he went shopping - yes with help. After he went to the memory care facility, they did everything for him. I often wondered how much or if that played a role in his decline.
Thank you so much for this.
It's clear, concise and filled in big gaps that I had.
And as an aside - I'm adopting the 'you rest, you rust' adage. That was my mum to a 'T' and I think I've inherited more than half of her genes. (Feel rusty today tho', post-Covid 5 and flu shots!!!)
Wow, I had no real grasp of what codependent means until I read this! This post has been an education - thank you so much.
What came to mind as I read your excellent discussion is how "help" and "enable" applies to older adults. Too often, folks enable their older loved ones - doing for them what they could do for themselves - rather than helping them when needed. The end product can be disempowerment.
When my husband was still home I challenged him - he had chores, we made puzzles, he went shopping - yes with help. After he went to the memory care facility, they did everything for him. I often wondered how much or if that played a role in his decline.