How Illness Teaches Priceless Lessons on Gratitude and Living Our Best Life
Mindfulness Is an Antidote
There is nothing like a taste of illness to bring out the full flavour of health. ~Charles Searle
It’s taken about five decades to figure out some of life’s most valuable lessons, and one is to never let a toddler sneeze or cough directly into your face.
My grandson did just that in early November while I was babysitting. It was the perfect trifecta that simultaneously hit me in the eyes, nose, and mouth. He had caught yet another cold from someone at the daycare he attends two days a week. Somehow he maintains a sunny disposition despite the snotty-nosed, bleary-eyed appearance that these bugs cause him on a regular basis.
It only took a few days before I felt the cold coming on. It began with a tickle in the throat and progressed to a full-fledged head cold. Coughing, sneezing, and sinuses so severely compacted that I needed a jackhammer to loosen the congestion. Instead, I bought one of those decongestants requiring proof that you’re over 18. It contains dextromethorphan (known as DXM), which produces a euphoric high in large quantities. I prefer red wine or Tito’s vodka for that purpose. The DXM was strictly to return functional breathing through my nose, which would have given ME a euphoric high at the time!
We don’t realize how lucky we are to wake up healthy.
I battled the symptoms with an arsenal of daytime and nighttime cold medicines, nose spray, sinus decongestant, Emergen-C, Vicks Vaporub, and a Vaporizer, to name a few. It took a solid three weeks to feel better and get rid of the congestion and cough.
I’m ashamed to admit that despite an ongoing effort to live more mindfully, I still forget to be consciously grateful for an average day. An average day means I wake up with nothing more than a minor ache or pain, and everyone I love is doing well. Consciously grateful as in making a daily affirmation of thanks for continued good health.
After 50+ years of colds, flu, mumps, pneumonia, chickenpox, sinus infections, rashes, seasonal allergies, etc. I still say the same thing upon getting sick: We don’t realize how lucky we are to wake up healthy.
We tend to take good health for granted, like everything else, until we don’t have it. I realized this in a BIG way back in 2017. While house-sitting for my son in Florida, Hurricane Irma struck and left us without electricity for five days AND running water for three days.
I consider myself pretty tough, but that was rough for someone who doesn’t even go camping (I have a penchant for running water.) Thank God for the inground pool. At least I could rinse off and flush the toilet. Floors had to be mopped, and the refrigerator emptied. The air-conditioning was down, making cleanup even harder and sweatier because Florida in September is still pretty hot!
After that experience, I was mindful every time I flipped a light switch or turned on the faucet. But, over time, the memory of those sweltering days faded, and I went back to my inattentive ways.
Then October came bringing an illness that won’t ever go away. Unless they find a cure. I first wrote about this in an earlier post from November 1st. It’s a type of blood cancer best known as leukemia. There are different types, and the one I have is called Chronic Lymphocytic Leukemia or CLL. There are two forms: a fast-growing type that requires immediate treatment and a slow-growing type that often doesn’t require treatment for years.
I got lucky that mine is the indolent or inactive kind, at least for now. I hope I'm one of those people that doesn't experience any symptoms for years. Being 61 puts me in the proverbial third act of life. Once you reach this stage, it’s about making peace with the past and building some kind of legacy. The ability to accomplish these essential goals would make taking the final bow a whole lot easier.
However, I won’t leave behind any sizable inheritances or significant assets. Despite my childhood dreams of accomplishing greatness that would earn me fame and fortune, mine were achievements of a more personal kind. My fame is shared among a small tribe; my fortune is even smaller.
Some people choose to devote their lives to building careers and professional identities. From the time they’re young, they invest themselves fully into making those goals a reality, often at great sacrifice. Necessity forced me to invest in the family I created, but I never gave up on my own dreams. I attended college part-time throughout the years in an effort to build a future for myself.
But this diagnosis confirmed the things which matter most, at least in my mind. No amount of money can buy a cure. And tangible things certainly have value for which I’m grateful (a warm bed on cold winter evenings.) But what matters most? People, of course.
My first reaction upon hearing the news was fear that I wouldn’t be spending the upcoming holidays with my family. Not fear of the diagnosis or what it would mean in terms of illness, symptoms, or treatment, but panic regarding whether I’d share the company of my loved ones over Christmas.
At that moment, I realized (once again) how priceless those connections are in my life.
We all experience events that remind us of the importance of our relationships. Usually, when they’re threatened by forces beyond our control and sometimes when it’s within our control. Unexpected illness and injury are common ones, but what about a significant other who no longer feels loved and appreciated? Or, we’ve neglected a lifelong friend lately due to an over-busy schedule.
This is when awareness makes a difference.
Mindfulness
Being mindful of anything isn’t easy.
There are so many competing distractions. This is why we have to make a concerted daily effort to spend some time being focused on who and what really counts in our lives.
This diagnosis confirmed what matters most, at least in my mind. No amount of money can buy a cure. And tangible things certainly have value for which I’m grateful (a warm bed on cold winter evenings.) But what matters most? People, of course.
My first reaction upon hearing the news was fear that I wouldn’t be spending the upcoming holidays with my family. Not fear of the diagnosis or what it would mean in terms of illness, symptoms, or treatment, but panic regarding whether I’d share the company of my loved ones over Christmas.
This was a eureka moment, realizing my own health was secondary to these priceless connections in my life.
We all experience events that remind us of the importance of our relationships. Usually, when they’re threatened by forces beyond our control and sometimes when it’s within our control. Unexpected illness and injury are common ones, but what about a significant other feeling underappreciated due to an over-busy schedule? Or, a child craving our attention that’s focused too often on a cell phone?
This is where mindfulness can help.
But, if you’re like me, I’ve always assumed the act requires a yoga mat, candles, maybe a lotus plant strategically placed nearby, and a dedicated chunk of time each day. However, that’s not the case at all.
The founder of the modern mindfulness movement, Jon Kabat-Zinn, reminds us that practicing awareness, moment to moment, without judgment, only requires five minutes. Even this brief amount of time can restore a sense of calm and control in our otherwise hectic lives.
I’ve included below a short, easy meditation for us to try. Hopefully, we’ll restore some serenity into our souls and raise our awareness of all we have to be grateful for!
5 - MINUTE MEDITATION in 4 EASY STEPS
Eliminate all distractions - turn off phone notifications and set a timer for 5 minutes.
Sit in a comfortable position if possible (standing works, too.)
Focus on your breathing and quiet the ‘mental 'chatter’ in your head:
Repeat a word or mantra - “I am enough,” “In, Out, In, Out” to coincide with breathing.
Listen to a sound - Choose something like a whirring fan or birds singing.
Focus on an image - Choose something that represents peace and beauty.
Take a deep breath when the timer goes off, and gently wiggle your fingers and toes. Ease back into your routine slowly and quietly.
Have you or someone you love experienced an illness that caused you to redefine what really matters in life? If so, let us know in the Comments…we can learn from one another.
And, as always, thanks for being a part of my Tuesday. If you enjoy Life Matters, please Subscribe, Share, and Comment…because your thoughts matter!
The priceless lesson I learned from my husband's struggle with dementia and death was the value of relationships. They are irreplaceable and need to be held with gratefulness and love.
Thank you for this beautifully-written post, and for the mindfulness exercise! Am going to give it a go!